|
|||||
Friday, November 11, 2005Balancing Act I am not a feminist by any stretch of the imagination. I am married to an alpha male and absolutely love him and the fact that I don't have to wear the pants in the family. However ... working full time makes it very difficult to do the "womanly" things that are automatically assigned to me simply because of my gender.For instance: The laundry, the planning of the menu, the grocery shopping, the cooking, the preparation of lunch boxes, the sweeping, vacuuming, dusting, mopping, scrubbing, changing of linens, washing of windows, washing of walls, the scheduling of the orthodontist, the scheduling of the carpool, the reconciling of the health insurance bills, the planning of vacations, the helping with the homework, the making sure that the kids have their last minute supplies for their school projects, the shopping for the kids clothes, et. al. Now, I know, some of those duties can be split up amongst the hubby and the children, but who is in charge of making sure said children do their part? I mean, let's just say your husband has a job and your kids go to school and have jobs and you have a job. At lunch time, do the men all go out and discuss what they are going to cook for dinner that night? Do your teens? And what about those times your husband is going to go out of town? Does he say, "Okay, dear. Here is the menu for while I'm gone. The entrees are all pre-made and in the freezer. The side dishes are listed and will need to be prepared on a daily basis, but all ingredients are bought and in the frig. Here is a schedule of what dads are going to be driving the kids to all their functions and here is the name and number of the person who is going to walk the dogs." Nope. Not once. Not ever. So, what would you say if you heard someone had hired a maid? And a cook? And an administrative assistant? Would you say something catty like, "Must be nice." Or would you think: Now there's a woman who gets to come home after work and enjoy her family. Does anyone actually have a maid and a cook and an administrative assistant? Because being a homemaker is a full time job. And any woman who works outside the home and doesn't have this hired help works two fulltime jobs. (I use the words "outside the home" loosely because I work inside the home, but I am writing, not homemaking.) Do you agree? Thoughts? Am I whining?
posted by Deeanne at 10:29 AM
|
|
||||
Copyright © 2009 Deeanne Gist. All rights reserved. Website development & maintenance by Web Crafters.
meet Dee | bookstore | pressroom | newsletter | contact Dee | Dee's Circle of Friends | Dee's Blog | website home
3 Comments:
I think that everybody's situation is different and it depends on his or her weekly "load". In our home, hubby & I both do our share of chores such as dishes, dusting, laundry, etc. We're not indoors people at all so we try to keep things pretty tidy as the week goes along so the weekends are free for fun. It's definitely difficult when we both work; try to attend as many of our kids' sports activities, and all this while I attend college. It is a "balancing act", but we'd rather save the money and clean up after ourselves. If we had “extra” money, we’d probably consider a maid. Administrative assistant? I’m thinking anything financial or in regards to setting doctors appointments, paying bills, etc… should definitely remain a head of household responsibility due to sensitive & private information. A cook? I’m blessed that hubby doesn’t mind cooking & does an absolutely wonderful job at it. I think he’s afraid of my cooking ;-)
3:29 PM
Those are some great insights, Susan. Thanks for sharing.
4:06 PM
Dee, I hired a maid AND a personal assistant last year and it was the best thing I've ever done. Of course, I have three kids (teens) at home like you do, which is a huge factor!
And here's my advice on the maid (not that you asked). The things I need and want a maid to do are different each and every week and are usually NOT the things a typical maid service does. I want someone who (when they see a few shirts in my "clean" stack on the dresser) will hang them up or put them in my shirt drawer. I need someone who will put things away (which most cleaning services won't do) and not just move one stack of "stuff" from one location to another location. I sort of "train" my housekeeper to know that my dirty clothes are ALWAYS in my hamper, so if there's a pair of jeans laying at the foot of the bed, that probably means that I was half dead when I took them off and didn't have the energy to hang them up and would they mind doing it for me. I'm not super picky about where things are put away "at" as long as they're put away. I tell the housekeeper, "don't worry, we'll find it, and if we can't find something we'll call you". Oh, and I don't pay a flat weekly fee either. I pay $10.00 an hour which is really a bargain. I run an ad in the local newspaper describing what I need, "Housekeeper needed to help clean, organize, and maintain household" and you'll be amazed at how many calls you'll get. Be sure to check references though which is something I didn't take the time to do with the last housekeeper. Also, I have my housekeeper come twice a week (Mondays and Thursdays) for 3 hours each day. It's wonderful... She usually has enough time to do the heavy cleaning on one of those days and then comes back the second day for touching up, re-tidying the place, watering plants, etc. Oh, also ... I just hired a new housekeeper (the last one {whose references I didn't check} started helping herself to Alane's savings) and this one is also a cook at one of our local restaurants (night shift) and is going to cook meals for us at least once a week in addition to the housekeeping stuff. Perfect for a busy (self-employed) mom!
Now, my personal assistant just ran errands (business and personal) for me but that was very helpful as well. Once Aaron started driving he sort of became my personal assistant (by default) in exchange for me paying for his insurance and gas each month, so I had to let Bryan (the real assistant) go. Now that Aaron has a "real job" I may have to hire another personal assistant, but so far Richard's been helping me out a lot in that area so perhaps not. But if the need arises, I'll hire one again in an instant -- after I check his references ;-)
Having the house clean and orderly, meals cooked, clothes put up, errands run, etc. etc. helps reduce my stress level and allows me to spend my evenings with the kids (helping with homework and such) and Richard instead of trying to play catch-up with all the household chores. And I can also tell you that the past two months that we were without a housekeeper was pretty rough -- I'd come in from work at 5:00 or so and see all the "stuff" that needed to be done and quite honestly, it was overwhelming! DEFINITELY NOT FUN! And you know that when mom ain't happy... well, you know.
Sweetie, I say you go for it if you think you need it. I know you wouldn't do this without having thought it (and prayed it) through. And if you do it, don't you DARE feel guilty about doing it either. And you know what? Your family will agree that it was one of the best things you've ever done because they'll get more of YOU! And a LESS STRESSED YOU at that!
12:01 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home